


Homeward Bound

by westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist



Category: The West Wing
Genre: F/M, Friendship
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2003-05-19
Updated: 2003-05-19
Packaged: 2019-05-30 11:56:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,331
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15096212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist/pseuds/westwingfanfictioncentral_archivist
Summary: Can this house be a home?





	Homeward Bound

**Author's Note:**

> A copy of this work was once archived at National Library, a part of the [ West Wing Fanfiction Central](https://fanlore.org/wiki/West_Wing_Fanfiction_Central), a West Wing fanfiction archive. More information about the Open Doors approved archive move can be found in the [announcement post](http://archiveofourown.org/admin_posts/8325).

**Homeward Bound**

**by:** Lifeasanamazon

**Character(s):** CJ/Toby  
**Pairing(s):** CJ/Toby  
**Category(s):** Friendship/?   
**Rating:** YTEEN  
**Disclaimer:** Not mine at all.  
**Summary:** Can this house be a home? A Sequel to ‘"A House Is Not A Home"  
**Spoiler:** Post Ep for Commencement – but it’s getting a bit AU (did I say ‘a bit?’)  
**Author's Note:** Rhonda! Yet again. And this is for ‘my girls’, Kate and Emma 

CJ and Toby were standing in the large garden, letting the spring air soothe them and both feeling surprisingly at home considering the trauma of the last half hour.

“It’s lovely here. A different world. I miss having a house, you know. All that space – although you don’t have to remind me that the pool took all my garden in L.A.” CJ turned her face away from the gentle warmth of the sun to consider Toby. “This would be a great place for children to grow up, Toby. Are you going to be able to keep it? It must cost a fortune every month?”

“Yeah. I was counting on Andi’s income to help towards that. I can’t begin to think what to do next.”

CJ began to explore. She found all sorts of plants and flowers that she couldn’t identify. “You’re going to have to hire a gardener too, or this will go to rack and ruin. As far as I remember in my lifetime’s work on ‘A Study of T. Z. Ziegler’, there is no chapter on a ‘green-fingered’ Toby. You’ll have to come up with something. A plan is what you need, my friend.”

Toby watched CJ as she crossed the lawn towards him. She had the kind of expression on her face that he had come to fear over the years: the one where she told him what to do for his own good. Normally he would have run a mile from her in that mood, but right now, he didn’t have an ounce of fight left in him.

CJ took hold of Toby’s hand in both of hers. “I’m gonna suggest something and I want you to think before you say anything. Okay?”

He nodded, too tired to do anything but agree.

“I still have money left from selling the house in L.A. I would like to split the down payment with you and pay half of the monthly cost of this house. It’s big enough for us both to live here without getting in each other’s way. We spend nearly every waking hour in each other’s company anyway, and I don’t care what you get up to or what food you eat. If it doesn’t work out...” she paused and looked at him carefully, “or if Andi changes her mind, I’ll sell you my share and move out.”

“CJ...” 

“No! You promised to think about it before saying anything. This isn’t pity, Toby. This is me wanting a home and liking this one. This is me liking you enough to believe that we can live in the same space without killing each other. This is me telling you that you don’t make me sad. You make me laugh – well when you’re not making me mad at you.” CJ sighed and continued, “This is me telling you that I’m not the easiest person to live with either. But I think we have enough respect and affection for each other to make this work. And an added bonus – we’ll save on phone bills!”

Toby stared at his friend, absently rubbing the back of her hand with his thumb. “What about Leo?”

CJ laughed. “I think Leo is the last of our worries. There is someone a little more senior who is likely to be even more vocal than Leo. And we will be teased mercilessly by others I don’t need to mention by name. But, Toby, and it is a big but. I think we could be happy. We could do with some happiness, couldn’t we?”

Toby didn’t say a word. He pulled CJ into a hug and held on for dear life. 

“Thank you.”

*

Toby walked CJ back to her car.

“While I have some time I’m going to visit Andi and say hello to your babies. Do you want me to talk to her about this?” CJ leaned against the car door and studied Toby’s face. “Or do you want to come with me and play the proud Daddy – show off your handiwork? We can talk about the house another time.”

Toby looked down at his feet. He was puzzled by the lack of embarrassment he was feeling. He had never spoken with anyone, cried with anyone as he had just done with CJ, and yet he wasn’t uncomfortable. His spirits had lifted at the thought of being able to keep the house too, though whether things would work well enough between them, he wasn’t sure. If there was one thing he had resolved on after his conversation with Andi, it was to try things out before assuming they would fail. And he was determined not to fail with CJ.

“Yeah, I’ll follow you. For all the heartache, this has to be the best day of my life. I can’t keep away from them.”

*

Andi opened her eyes to see CJ’s face appear at the half open door.

“CJ! Come in. Thank you so much for coming! This is all a bit of a shock – not neatly planned and organized in the usual Wyatt way.” Andi looked exhausted. “Where’s Toby? I assume he’s with you?”

“Coming right behind me. He’s just talking to your doctor.” CJ bent to kiss the cheek that Andi offered, and squeezed her hand lightly. “How are you holding up? Was it worth all the pain?”

Andi nodded and smiled. “I think I got off quite lightly considering the other horror stories I’ve heard. Do you want to meet Toby’s children?”

“You bet I do – this has been the longest nine months I’ve experienced. I expect it’s felt far longer to you. And Andi... I want to meet _your_ children too.”

Andi smiled. “Look in the goldfish bowls in the corner of the room. You can wheel them over to me and I’ll introduce you.”

Toby opened the door and came in as CJ was looking at the babies. He went straight to Andi and kissed her, stroking her cheek gently. “How are you doing?” he whispered.

“I’m good. I don’t think I’ll ever walk again, but I’m good. Shall we let CJ be the first to know the names?” She saw him smile his agreement.

“CJ? Meet Isabel. She’s the one with the hair. The bald guy lying in the next crib is Ben. Kids? Say ‘hello’ to CJ. She’s the tallest woman you’re ever likely to meet. And the sweetest. Most importantly, she’s the only one who can keep your Dad in line.”

CJ looked quickly up at Andi. “Thank you, Andi.” She gazed back down at the sleeping children. “They are so beautiful. You must be very happy. Both of you.” 

Andi  put her hand on Toby’s arm. “Toby, would you mind running to the shop? I would really like some fresh orange juice, and I’d like to have a chat with CJ before I have to feed the kids. Do you mind?” She watched carefully as he stroked the heads of his sleeping children with one finger, before leaving on his errand.

CJ sat down in the visitor’s chair next to Andi’s bed. “Is everything okay?” she asked.

Andi took a deep breath. “I don’t know what you’ve been told ... but I think I may have hurt Toby very badly this morning.” She glanced at CJ, only to be met with a level gaze that told her nothing.  “I said some things that I regret,  and however much I could wish them unsaid, they are there still. Toby has been amazing today. He has been with me every inch of the way and I couldn’t have done it without him. What I guess I’m saying, what I’m asking... is for you to keep an eye on him. I’m not sure how much you know, but I think he is right on the very edge of what he can take. I don’t want him pushed over that edge. He doesn’t deserve that. He didn’t deserve what I did to him this morning either……”

CJ heard the distress in the other woman’s voice. “Do you want to marry him, Andi?”

“No, CJ! I don’t. I have said so over and over again. I love Toby, but he’s not good for me. Having children doesn’t make our problems go away, it makes them even more difficult to deal with. We will be far better parents apart than together. This morning was evidence of that. I’m always saying things that will hurt him, and then I feel guilty and then I get angry and then I hurt him all over again. It’s a pattern that we’ve repeated for the last ten years. Him eating salad and stopping with the cigars is not going to change any of that – although it might make him healthier!” Andi sighed. “But the most important part of this - something I’m not even sure he is aware of... is that he doesn’t love me. Not in that way. Toby never, ever uses the words ‘I love you’. It’s not part of him. I don’t think his parents ever used the words to him either. And you know that Toby knows the value of the right words for the right occasion. Don’t you think that he would have used them at least once in the many times he has proposed to me over the last months?” Andi shook her head. “No, CJ. He doesn’t love me like that. But he will love his son and his daughter, and he will tell them that he does. He will only say it when he really means it.”

CJ sat motionless, the conversation she’d had with Toby earlier that day echoing in her head. She’d told him that she loved him. And he had replied in kind. Brushing the significance to one side until she had the time and energy to explore it, she decided to plunge in with her plan for Toby and the house.

“Andi. If you’re serious about not marrying Toby, then I want to tell you something.”

Andi lay her head back on her pillow, her face strained with exhaustion but the expression in her eyes encouraging CJ to continue.

“Toby has told me a little of what happened this morning, but I am in no position to judge either of you. What I can say is that I have come up with a suggestion that means the house will not have to be sold. Toby cannot afford to keep it by himself, so... I will split the costs with Toby and live there with him – it’s big enough for us to be able to live our separate lives and for it to be a family home for the children for whatever you work out between you.” CJ looked carefully at Andi’s face for a reaction. She saw nothing but warmth in the other woman’s smile. She continued, “ I hate my apartment and I fell in love with that house as soon as I saw it – but you know all about that.” She laughed. “Should you want to get back together, I will walk away – we can have everything drawn up by lawyers – God know we know enough of them, but if we can, I would really like to make this work.”

“He’s not an easy man, CJ.”

“I know he’s not. But I’m not easy to be with either – just look at my roaring success with relationships. I don’t know what Toby and I have. I do know that he is my friend and he challenges me like no-one else does, that he respects me as I respect him. And that we like spending time in each other’s company. Believe it or not, but Toby makes me laugh. We have fun.” CJ stared down at her hands. “I hate being lonely, Andi. And if Toby and I can just make life a little easier for each other for a little while, then I’m going to give it my best shot. Of course we have to get past the inevitable outcry from the press and from our colleagues, but I think you can help us with that, can’t you?” Andi smiled at her friend. “ I really think that the President will come down on our side – especially if I can get to the First Lady before anyone else.”

Andi took CJ’s hand. “Well, I think that if you can rub along together, then it is a fine plan. I will do everything I can to help. On a selfish level I am delighted that you will be part of the twins’ lives, CJ – you are a very special person. And I think you will find out that Toby thinks so too. And of course, I get to visit the house of my dreams on a regular basis.”

CJ lifted her head in confusion, which increased ten fold as Toby picked that moment to come back in the room with the orange juice.

“Here.” He put the carton down on the bedside table. “If you’ve finished talking, I can help you with a diaper change.”

CJ rose quickly. “I’ll leave you guys to it now. Andi, congratulations again and thanks.” She kissed her quickly on the cheek and then bent to kiss the sleeping babies. She turned to Toby and put her hand on his chest. “See you later. Andi knows about the house. Everything’s going to be okay. Come over later, and we’ll talk some more if you want.” She turned as she reached the door. “I expect you to bring a decent bottle of wine. We are going to celebrate!”

**Sequel:** "Home is Where the Heart Is"


End file.
